literature

Why we don't like Twilight 2

Deviation Actions

lovelylestrange's avatar
Published:
596 Views

Literature Text

Watch out twilight lovers!

1. Oh I'm a sparkly vampire I'm so special!
For god's sake a man that sparkles is not cool! Oh there is Brad Pitt look at him wearing sparkles! Oh there is George Clooney look at him sparkle... I don't think so!

2. You smell nice and I love you for it!
Ok I know it is proven that smell does determine compatibility but really does it mean you love the person forever as soon as you smell them. Do you see people going around asking to smell others to see if they are soul mates?? If you do I suggest you run.

3. I can run fast and you can't!
Well if you can run that fast just join the damn track team and win awards! Stop bragging Meyers about your perfect creation of track stars!!!

4. I only eat animals
Oh you eat animals your special! You're like every other darn person on the earth that isn't a vegan or vegetarians so you're not so special Cullens!

5. I like to play baseball
Well you know what I like to play baseball too! But I don't need to play it when there is thunder so suck it Meyers!

6. Oh I have 4 books about me!
Well luckily I have a normal life unlike you and I don't beat up my boyfriend when I'm having special time so in your sparkly face Edward!

7. Team Jacob or Team Edward?
Where in the heck did the teams come from?! I bet one day there will be a war a totally serious war about Edward and Jacob. See what the world has come too we are fighting about fictional characters! (Note: I am on Team Potter)

8. Really?!?! Do you have to have no feelings?
Yes I'm talking to you Bella Swan! You have no feelings at all except your stupid multiple personalities! Yes I said it! One of you personalities likes Jacob and the other likes Edward. Now if this personality disorder is this serious I think the vampires should just eat you already and put you out of your misery!

9. Why Edward is a creepy old man.
He is a creepy old man because; he watches you in your sleep (And kids if there is an old man watching you and he is not related to you run for your freakin' life.), he follows you, he can stop cars without getting hurt (well when a old man walks across the street the cars stop for them), he sparkles , he is 113 years old is that even natural?! I don't think soo!

10. Why Jacob is just a creepy younger man.
When someone falls in love with your kid, runs around with only pants on and turns into a werewolf I think you might need to reevaluate your life choices.

11. OH MORE MOVIES!
When you have a movie coming out that makes fun of your movie must I say more?

12. Look a creepy devil child just ate its way out of my womb. COOL!
When a baby with scary teeth and has a likin' for blood that you have had in your stomach for nine months eats its way out. It is a "OMG WHY DID I SLEEP WITH THE VAMPIRE" moment. And the baby was eating its way out because of two things A. it doesn't like you. B. it wants to tell you how bad the books are.
Again people I go in depth about why twilight is a bit dumber then other books. let me say now I do not mean to offend anyone at all! this is just for laughs! and i will let the truth come out now. when the books first came out i liked them and i did read them but later when it became over the top popular and stupid i stopped liking them. but yes i hope you guys like this. :) :la: thanks for reading!
© 2011 - 2024 lovelylestrange
Comments44
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
sutoroberikurimu's avatar
TEAM EDUARD VON BOCK (Hetalia)!!!